The poverty of spirit and inward weakness, with which I was much tried thefore part of this journey, has of late appeared to me a dispensation ofkindness. Appointing meetings never appeared more weighty to me, and I was ledinto a deep search whether in all things my mind was resigned to the will ofGod; often querying with myself what should be the cause of such inwardpoverty, and greatly desiring that no secret reserve in my heart might hindermy access to the divine fountain. In these humbling times I was made watchful,and excited to attend to the secret movings of the heavenly principle in mymind, which prepared the way to some duties, that, in more easy and prosperoustimes as to the outward, I believe I should have been in danger of omitting. Fifth of Fifth Month, 1768. -- I left home under the humbling hand of theLord, with a certificate to visit some meetings in Maryland, and to proceedwithout a horse seemed clearest to me. I was at the Quarterly Meetings atPhiladelphia and Concord, whence I proceeded to Chester River, and, crossingthe bay, was at the Yearly Meeting at West River; I then returned to ChesterRiver, and, taking a few meetings in my way, proceeded home. It was a journeyof much inward waiting, and as my eye was to the Lord, way was several timesopened to my humbling admiration when things appeared very difficult. On myreturn I felt a very comfortable relief of mind, having through divine helplaboured in much plainness, both with Friends selected and in the more publicmeetings, so that I trust the pure witness in many minds was reached. Second of Eighth Month and first of the week. -- I was this day at Sheffield,a large inland town. I was at sundry meetings last week, and feel inwardthankfulness for that divine support which hath been graciously extended to me. Cairness himself had speculated upon that subject a good deal, and had noticed with a slight uneasiness the ugly looks of some of the ranch hands. "They are more likely to have trouble in that quarter than with the Indians," he said to himself. For he had seen much, in the ranks, of the ways of the disgruntled, free-born American. In the minutes of the meeting of ministers and elders for this quarter, atthe foot of a list of the members of that meeting, made about five years beforehis death, we find in his handwriting the following observation andreflections: 在线不卡日本v二区_亚洲 欧美 国产 综合 "Very much," said Ellton; "it was a sharp cut on the forehead攚ent through the bone, and he was unconscious, off and on, for two or three days. He seemed to take it hard. He went off yesterday, and he wasn't fit to travel either, but he would do it for some reason. I think he was worse cut up about Landor than anything, though he wasn't able to go to the funeral. I like[Pg 289] Cairness. He's an all-round decent fellow; but after all, his life was bought too dear." I have sometimes felt a necessity to stand up, but that spirit which is ofthe world hath so much prevailed in many, and the pure life of truth hath beenso pressed down, that I have gone forward, not as one travelling in a road castup and well prepared, but as a man walking through a miry place in which arestones here and there safe to step on, but so situated that, one step beingtaken, time is necessary to see where to step next. Now I find that in a state of pure obedience the mind learns contentment in appearing weak and foolish tothat wisdom which is of the world; and in these lowly labours, they who standin a low place and are rightly exercised under the cross will find nourishment.